Or should I say 1 step forward and 3 steps back?


So in between running around to get a birthday gift for my daughter’s 2nd birthday, food, supplies and setting up, cooking for her birthday party, my mind has been thinking and re-thinking about finding my connection to the Wade family. It seems that there are more lies than truth. I spent most of today with my mom (car shopping for her). We came back to my place and were sitting down talking, soon the conversation switches to Alvin and his parents. My mom tells me why she never liked my grandparents. She said that my grandfather had left my grandmother and wrote to her (my mom) and told her to leave my dad to go and be with him and he would take care of her and her kids. My mom said she did not like my grandmother because she could no understand how my grandmother could do nothing when she knew my grandfather was taking little 3-4 year old girls into the basement of the government housing they live in to molest them. I asked her who told her he was doing this and she said my father told her. I did not know my father that well, but I knew him enough. I asked her how he would know his dad had done this. I mean unless you walk in on it, as a kid you really would not have known. From the information I have found on Alvin, it seems there is a lot my dad did not know about his own father. My dad had filled out Alvin’s death certificate and there is a lot he was wrong on. Such as the year Alvin was born, The birthplace, and the mother’s last name. Also I remember my dad telling me how he took Alvin to see his 1st wife before he died. Well it was not his wife, but his daughter, his wife had died in 1974. Alvin passed away in 1990.

Now about Alvin supposedly molesting little girls, I don’t know about other parents of little girl that age, but there is no way in heck I would let my daughter at 3 or 4 be outside wandering around the neighborhood alone. Keep in mind this was taking place back in maybe the 40’s, 50’s or 60’s. As for my grandmother turning the cheek to this? No one knows what went on in her home when it was just her and Alvin. Alvin had already left his 1st wife with his 2 daughters, what would stop him from doing it again? I can say that I never felt I was in any kind of danger when I was around him. My memories of him are very few, he spent a lot of time in his bedroom (he did not sleep with my grandmother when I was kid), If he did molest little girls, then why did my mom find okay for me and my sister to be around him? We spent 2 summers with my grandparents and before we moved to another state my mom left us with him and my grandmother for about 2-3 weeks. Kind of hard to call the kettle black when you did the same thing. So all of this leads me to think that maybe he never did molest little girls. I don’t know why my dad would have said something like that and again how he would have even know about it.

My mom also said that Alvin had divorced his first wife, but according to Alvin’s oldest daughter, he never did. I think his daughter would have known if her parents divorced. Now Alvin did change legally change his name, so I have been told. His daughter also said that she thought he was adopted. Well thinking about that, I can see that being so. I know the 1900 census has his last name as Ealstman, but in 1910 it’s Hodgdon. William could have adopted him. The one thing I know for sure is that Alvin and his siblings did not talk much about each other or their parents. A lot of what Alvin told his son’s about his family seems to be lies or not all truth. It seems all the sibling except one got away from their parents as fast as they could. Makes one ask their self why? Heck I am not the best mom, yet I still can’t get on 20 year old son out of my house, lol. One thing is for sure, I plan on getting the DNA test done through Ancestry.com when I have the money, maybe that will shed some light on things and hopefully answers some questions.

So until another day……….. Happy hunting!!